An Open Letter to the Man Who Raised Me

Dear Brian,

My biggest regret so far in life is having not told you any of this sooner. If I had known time was running out, I would have. The news I awoke to at 3:30 am was not something I was prepared for. I could have never seen this coming and I’m finding it hard to find words to describe how I’m feeling.

It’s been a few hours and I still feel sick to my stomach. I’m still in disbelief. I still can’t comprehend what is happening, that this is actually real. How could something like this happen? Everything was fine. Everything was perfect.

And I don’t know how to cope, but here I am writing this letter I know you’ll never read. I can’t put into words how much I miss you. How grateful I am that you have been put into my life. You have been the closest thing to a father I’ve ever had. I just can’t believe you’re gone.

I love you more than life itself. You did so much for me, my mom, and our family. You took on my family like we were your own and you loved my mom more than any man ever could. You raised me as your “little princess”, you taught me everything I know, and I don’t know where I’m supposed to go from here.

I have never felt a heartbreak quite like this before. I feel like without you, a piece of me will always be missing. You changed my life for the better. I don’t know where I would have been without you. I don’t know where I’ll be without you.

And my heart breaks a little more remembering how much you loved reading my posts and knowing that this is the first article I’m writing without you reading which is pretty ironic since it’s the article I wish you could read the most. I just can’t believe this is happening, and I can’t believe someone so important in my life is gone so soon.

Although you’ll never see me graduate from college, although you’ll never be able to walk me down the aisle, and although my future children will never meet their grandfather, you have truly made a mark on my life that can’t be touched. You made me who I am today. Thanks for being the father figure I’ve never had.

You were way more than just my step-dad, you were my dad. I’ve known you since I was just a little girl. You watched me grow into who I’ve become. You were there for me at my worst and you treated me like I was your own daughter. Thanks for taking care of me, and even more importantly caring so much about me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do without you. All I know is that I love you.

There is so much left unsaid and I don’t know how to put these feelings into words. Even though you’ve passed on I will forever be grateful for all that you’ve taught me and all that you’ve given me. All I hope is that one day I can make you proud of who I’ve become and that one day, we will meet again.

I love you and miss you more than you will ever know

Love,

Your little princess

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