Looking For A Sign

When someone dies, we look around for signs that they’re still with us. But what are actual signs and what is actually just our mind tricking us? Is it all just our mind tricking us?

A day before my grandfather got sick, he was giving away poppy flowers as the supporting veteran he was. When my grandfather was sick, my mom asked him to give her a sign that he got there okay. Two days after he passed, a lone little poppy flower sprouted in our front yard. It was a sign.

People always told me that spirits show up in the form of butterflies. When my mom left to go put my dog down, she got out of the car with my dog, and a butterfly flew with her all the way to the entrance. When she left and my dog had passed, my mom felt the need to go to the cemetery. And there she showed up to a beautiful butterfly sitting on the tombstone. And she just knew, she wasn’t alone.

The day following my stepdad’s passing, we had been searching around for signs that he is still here. I had been wandering outside in mid August and no butterflies have appeared. Is he here? My mom picks up a roast beef sandwich and refers to how much he loved roast beef, but that she never bought it. Then she went to squirt mustard on her sandwich and it squirted all over her shirt. Is this his way of saying, “Ha! That’s for never buying me roast beef!” or did my mom simply just squirt mustard on herself?

About two weeks prior, my brother had received flowers from his boyfriend. My stepdad said to him “Thanks, now I have to buy your mom flowers!” Later, he discussed flowers with my mom and said “you love lilies right?” a common mistake he always made, and my mom questioned if he’s just being his sarcastic self and kidding, or if he actually forgot. She’s always loved tulips.

After he passed, my mom had two bouquets of flowers delivered, both of beautiful white lilies. Is this him delivering the flowers he never got a chance to?

We look for signs to see if loved ones are still here because we need them to still be here. But what is real and what isn’t? How do we know when someone is actually around, or when our mind is only tricking us?

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2 thoughts on “Looking For A Sign

  1. Andrea, this is a beautiful post. I wasn’t close with my father when he passed. I was so angry when he died. After his death, I dreamt about him for months. In my dreams he didn’t know he died and i would always yell at him that he couldn’t be here anymore because he wasn’t alive… I think I dreamt like this for six months. And in my everyday life, weird things would happen. Like the TV would turn on by itself, books would fall from the shelve. At the time I didn’t see them as signs because I wasn’t searching for them. But these were signs. I later let go of my anger and would pray that he find peace and move on. I forgave him and my dreams stops and the weird things around the house stopped too. Just because you’re “looking” for a sign, doesn’t mean it’s not a sign. I believe it’s about having the right mind set and being open to those signs.

    ❤ xoxo- Kimberly

    1. Thanks so much for sharing your story, Kimberly. That’s such a great perspective and I never actually thought about it that way. I’m so sorry for your loss, just know your father is always with you ❤

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