Mind Dump

It’s crazy that when I began this blog I was a freshman in high school and now I will be graduating college this year. So much has changed, yet nothing has changed. People that were once so important in my life aren’t all still here, and people I used to not know I now can’t imagine my life without. If someone were to tell me 6 years ago all of the crazy things that would happen, I wouldn’t know what to do. I would have never believed I’d be able to get through everything and that  I’d end up where I’m at today.

Life is not perfect, but can life ever be perfect? There are things I wish I could change, of course. Not everything ended up as I had planned and I may have not gotten everything I’ve wanted. I have changed so much as a person that whoever I was six years ago is a stranger to me now. Of course some things haven’t changed. I still love writing, although I never would have expected myself to become as english major. I’m still the same person deep down. I’m still that quiet girl who doesn’t say much, but has a vivid imagination and crazy life ambitions which have changed throughout the years, and probably will continue to change throughout my entire life. Even though life isn’t perfect and there is so much from my past I wish I could change or have back, I am at a point where I am genuinely happy in my life. I have my bad days of course, I have days where I am so anxious and frustrated that I do not want to get out of bed, but I’ve learned by now that these moments pass and that happy days are worth pushing through all the bad stuff for. All in all, I feel much happier and more optimistic than I used to be.

I wanted to write this because I enjoy writing about what’s on my mind and how I’m feeling from time to time. I think it’s important to track my emotions throughout time, and I always find it interesting to go back to old articles and compare where I once was to where I’m at now. I hope to continue to grow and become even more positive. I am very hopeful for the future I have ahead of me.

Thanks for reading!

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A Years Time

It’s amazing how much can change in a year. From last August, to this current August, my life has changed drastically in ways I wasn’t expecting. Often, we know when to expect change. I always knew ever since I was a little girl that the year 2015 would be a big year for me and I would graduate from high school and leave home for college. I knew this change was coming. I was ready for it.

Still, some changes aren’t quite as expected. This year has brought a lot of change I wasn’t expecting. This day last year, my stepfather passed away suddenly, and I think this is what has caused me to analyze change so much. This one, hurtful moment changed my life in many ways. It affected me emotionally, and heavily impacted my family dynamic. It brought a lot of heartache and created many obstacles for my family that we are still working through. This was a change I did not have planned. This was a change that was not welcomed.

There have been great things that have happened this year too. I started dating my best friend, I got an internship, I got a position on the executive committee for my sorority, I made new friends, although while also losing some, and I declared myself as a double major. So much can change in a day- a minute even- let alone a year. It’s crazy to think how far I’ve come from last summer to this summer, and yet how much I’ve stepped back. Some aspects of my life that weren’t blooming quite as much last summer, such as my professional life or my love life, are doing very well now. Other aspects that may have been great, seem to be at a low point right now.

Still, I am not worried. I know that soon, even more crazy unexpected events will occur, good and bad. The good might not be good forever, but neither will the bad. Even more change is expected to come by next summer as I will hopefully be graduating college and officially moving out of the home I’ve been living in for the past ten years. I’ll have to say goodbye to a lot of great people, but I believe when the time comes I will be ready. For now, I am going to live in the moment and do my best to accept change as it comes and believe the universe has a plan for me. Still, it’s nice to look back and reflect on what my life once was way back when.