Death never gets easier. I’ve lost few in the past, and it hasn’t prepared me for yet another death I experienced today. My beloved cat Figaro. I know it’s “just a pet” to some people, but it isn’t to me. It’s never just a pet to me. Pets are a combination of family and very close friends. They are absolutely ALWAYS there for you. And losing one is never easy.
I lost my cat today on November 9, 2012. I’ve had him since I was 6, so I got him I believe in the year 2003. It was such a long time ago, but not long enough. Figs was only 9..9! Cat’s live until they’re at least 15! How is this fair to me? To lose my childhood pet so soon? All because of stupid cancer! Cancer that spread throughout his body in what looks to have been about 2-3 weeks. It’s. Not. Fair.
I don’t know the exact date that I first got Figs since I was only 6 and I didn’t pay attention to that kind of stuff. I don’t know his birthday either since we got him from the shelter, but he was definitely only a few months. It’s funny though because although I was so young when I first got him, I still remember the day perfectly well.
My dad and I made an agreement; he’ll buy me a cat if I go to Italy with him. (Win/win for me, haha!) So one day I get called downstairs and I see this big cage. Inside is the cutest white little kitten with a little bit of gray on his face. My brother and I opened the cage and began playing with the cute little kitten. I believe someone else was there too. Possibly my cousin or neighbor, but I was 6 so I don’t remember exactly. I remember deciding on a name. My brother Alex said “Let’s name him Figaro like from Pinocchio!” I loved that idea. My brother was only kidding though considering this cat looked nothing like Figaro from Pinocchio considering he was mostly white and the one from Pinocchio was mostly black, but I loved the name anyways. My brother tossed around other name idea’s too, but it was my cat and I was set on the name Figaro.
I also remember from that day playing with him on the step. We would put him on the bottom step and watch his silly attempts to climb down. He was the cutest thing.
As Figaro got older, a big gray spot began to grow across his back matching the grayness on his face. There was even a point where the gray spot looked like Mickey Mouse’s silhouette. By the time he passed though, which was today, it was just a huge gray patch that took up most of his torso. I wonder if he would have lived another 10 years, if he would’ve been all gray. I guess now that’s something I’ll never know.
I also remember walking around the house singing “Figaro, Figaro, Fiii-gaaah-rooow!” like a huge fat Italian man would. I don’t even know if that was in Pinocchio or if I just came up with it myself. Either way, I should probably never do it again because I am beyond tone deaf. Figaro also had the most beautiful eyes. They were huge bright blue eyes and whenever someone would meet him for the first time they would say “wow, your cat has such beautiful eyes!” When really, he was just beautiful in general.
I know I have journals in my closet from when I was in elementary school and we would have to write in our daily journal each day. I remember writing about him. I actually remember rereading an article I wrote about him in there because I did look at it recently when I was cleaning out my closet. I think possibly tomorrow I’m going to look for it and read it again. Although that’ll probably make me an even bigger wreck then I already am.
It has just been a very hard day. Over the past few weeks, Figs began losing lots and lots of weight. We took him for blood work and it wasn’t until yesterday that we got the results stating he has been diagnosed with cancer. It spread rapidly through out his body. It was all over and not something we could fix. Could we treat him? Possibly, but it would have been so much money and would’ve only kept him alive for maybe 3 more months, so it wouldn’t have been worth it. We would’ve had to start treatments immediately too since he passed today. He was in so much pain today. It was heartbreaking.
I heard a loud tumble down the steps this morning. I go by the steps to see Figs laying at the bottom, not moving. I thought he was dead. He wasn’t. He couldn’t move though. He just laid there and would occasionally let out a moan. I helped him sit up and he sat for awhile before eventually standing up, walking a few steps, and falling over. It was a cycle for him, but he had somewhere he wanted to go. His legs were like jello though and he had absolutely no strength, so he could only go about 2 steps before falling over and to be quite frank, I couldn’t watch it. So what I did was I picked him up and I carried him over to the corner that my dog, Myra died in 2 years ago figuring there is no better place for him to die. I carried him to the corner of my dining room and he laid there for a few moments before getting up and going over to the closest chair. He attempted a jump, and with my help, he got on top of the chair in which he wanted to die on. After that, it was just hours of patiently waiting. Every once in a while he would have a breathing fit or a coughing fit. It wasn’t fun to watch and it was clear he was in pain. His paw and head began dangling from the chair and it was hard because it was so clear he was in pain, but I just couldn’t disturb him. At least 3 times today he fooled me and my brother making us think he was dead, when he was actually still alive. Basically today was pointless. He couldn’t move and he was in so much pain that he might as well have been dead all day. I’d rather that than his pain, no matter how difficult it may be for me. But now he really is gone and it is the most terrible feeling ever.
I definitely will never get used to sitting on the couch and not having him come sit in my lap to keep me warm. I loved Figaro more than anything, and I really can’t believe this is real. I will certainly never forget him. Love and miss you Figs, rest in peace. ❤
Sidenote: Please keep in mind that I wrote this on November 9 and I just have not uploaded it until now. Thank you xo